I should have become a soldier..
a lonely solider.. responsible for the lives of his men
fighting against enemy to survive
for himself, for his community
and for his ideology if lucky enough..
I had only a chance of getting 6 months of military training
to become an entry-level officer in the army.
And as soon as I got the badges of insignia
on my shoulders to become a platoon leader,
I got discharged from the obligatory military service
since I passed the national exam substituting
3 years of service to only 6 months..
The opportunity was given only to the qualified students
of having master degree or higher.
I at least enjoyed the military training programs
which made me lot closer to the wild nature of human being
as a man.. only with his own flesh and brain..
of course with the minimum set of weapons for survival.
I am just on my reflection of those days as a man..
Over night walking for 100km
with all the heavy military gears on the back..
Roadside walking for returning to barrack in the midnight
watching movie-scene sort of shadows of my colleagues
walking in a long row under the headlights of 2 and half trucks..
Trajectory of red-orange color of the bullets
in the night by M-60 machine gun..
with good feeling of recoiling for automatic fire..
Military orienteering under the full moon light..
and incessant feeling of hunger..
and chilly, chilly and chilly.. everyday in the fall & winter..
I actually like the weird feelings that I had not been accustomed to.. by that time..
A Tribute to "Combat"